eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
