So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
