i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
