It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize