is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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