just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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