:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
