The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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