He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
