I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
