You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
