I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I cockslap morals
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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