he wants to bone in the snuggie
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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