yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
