So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
