Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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