try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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