What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I puked a lego.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
