is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
