I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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