Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
