did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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