Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
