handjob tips. give me some.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
