When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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