By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize