I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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