plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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