VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize