come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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