My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
