I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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