Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize