; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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