i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
