I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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