We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
