Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Boobs are out for the taking
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
