woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
