Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
