i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
