I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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