Just cropdusted the office
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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