he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
