Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
