I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
