Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
