Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
