His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
