I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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