from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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