He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
