So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
