I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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