I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
