I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
