i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize