Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
