so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
