It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize