Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
