everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
