you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
