My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
