whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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