dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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