420 ftw
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
