if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize