it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize