you traded sex for a burrito?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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